They buzz like flies…..all these people around me
They zoom by…attempting to perch, to stay
But all i want to do is slap them off
Yes, all i wanted to do was close them out…
They can’t understand; No…they can’t….
Her smile; Her chatter; Her cries; Even Her….
Everything about her
Even when she creeps into my bed to disturb my sleep
While I slept…
It was 9months; No!!! 8 months…
8 months and I still had to go under the knife…
Oh…the pain…..the torment…..
But then she landed in my arms and all that pain disappeared…
Yes…..her smile….erased all that pain that I felt
Cos’ I held this wonder in my hand
She was from me….yes she came out from me…..
I bore this wonder….Yes my baby wonder
I watched her grow…
Bought her clothes, she wouldn’t wear in years to come
Dreamed of her graduation day…
Her wedding day…..
How beautiful she will look….
I overheard someone say how beautiful and peaceful she looked;
In the white dress…not her wedding dress, the one in which she was buried…
No, that was not the plan…
It was supposed to be her wedding dress
She was supposed to attend my funeral
I was supposed to see my grandchildren
The flies are buzzing again….
Something about”God knows best”
I need to go to my room
The flies are perching…
“Don’t let her be alone, she might do something terrible”
I hear nursery rhymes…
A fly must have opened that “sing-along” book
In the process of trying to put it away from me
Those nursery rhymes…
Those dress-ups we had together
End of the year party is next week Wednesday; She was supposed to sing
We were learning it together…We were…
The flies are buzzing again…“You need to eat something”?
I hear her voice…Is she here; can it be, is she back?
Its only my phone; my ring tone…Her beautiful cackle
A fly hurries to switch it off…Whats the use?
Can she switch off all the memories?
Her voice in my head?
Her face in my thoughts
My beautiful wonder…
She was from God…
How could he take her away again?
Why God? Why?
She was here yesterday?
Just a slight fever…
We both entered the clinic; but I came out alone
My beautiful wonder…
“is it true?...how did it happen”
Another fly enters to interrupt my thoughts…